Friday, March 7, 2008

A Blessed Life

As I stumbled out of bed this morning at 6am with sleep in my eyes, I was thinking that all I wanted was an extra hour to snooze. I am not a morning person. It's really hard for me to drag out of bed, but with five children, sleeping in is not an option. My husband is frequently out of town (very, very far out of town) for weeks or months at a time. So it's left to me to do the stuff of daily living.

I prefer to get up and plop on the couch with a cup of hot tea, read my email and let the sun come up through the front window, gradually waking me up. But such a slow morning is a rare indulgence these days. My older kids get themselves off to high and middle school pretty well... they make themselves some pancakes from the freezer or a bowl of cereal and they're off to walk a mile to school or take the bus. My youngest boy has a harder time getting out of bed, and I often have to rouse him 3 times to be sure he doesn't miss the bus. I guess he is a bit like me... loves the bed. My 2-year-old, however, is the one who keeps me hopping the most.

After getting up with her a couple times in the night, taking her to the potty and helping her get back to sleep, I am wiped out at 6am while she is bright eyed and bushy tailed, shouting, "should we wake up?" at me with a big grin. I pull my pillow and blanket out to the living room and we snuggle on the couch and watch Word World on PBS. But she is not one to lay around for long, so my morning is punctuated by a bouncing little girl racing around choosing her clothes and trying to get them on by herself, running to the potty every so often, asking to watch a Strawberry Shortcake video, and wanting to play with Play Doh. I fill requests for help with her dollies and for plates of buttered toast. Somewhere in there I get my cup of tea and sit down to read email. I hop up every few minutes to wipe yogurt off her face or read her a story, and before I know it, it's time to run off to the library for storytime, or to her gymnastics class, or to run errands.

It's hectic. I was getting spoiled with my older kids getting more independent. I had my first four kids in five years (and lost 2 babies in the same time period) so my early 20's were a whirlwind of activity. Never a dull moment, and a very happy time in my life. Then I got divorced, got fat, and got jaded. For a long time, everything was hard... I was working, going to college, raising four kids by myself. Their father moved far away and came to visit them once or twice a year. I have no family, so I was truly alone. Every day I had to get up early and race off to put the kids in daycare or school and not see them again til the end of the day. Money was so tight and a constant worry. My weight skyrocketed.

Things changed. I graduated college, got married, had another child... the last. I am 38. And I am blessed that I have been able to get off the endless hamster wheel of working and running and not seeing my kids enough. I get to be a stay-at-home mom like I was when my older kids were small. And even though life is still busy and I don't get my quiet, slow morning, I know I am SO blessed and I would not trade what I have now for the world. I am here when my kids go to school and when they get home. I have some time to work on my health and other aspects of my life. And I get to spend my whole day with my darling little girl, who sits on the potty singing the ABC sing at the top of her itty bitty lungs and brings me indescribable joy.

And now I must go and have some "sock soup" that my daughter made for us in her play kitchen. I am just so blessed!


Steve and Jamie said...

I really enjoyed this post!

I've been lurking on your blog for a few months now, and I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for inspiring me! I am inspired by your weight loss. I am inspired by your determination. I am inspired by your thoughts about loss and family.

Thanks for giving me a little boost every couple days!

MurrayvilleMom said...

Good for you!!! Keep up the good work!!! I have 6 kids and I have been losing weight too. I blog about my trials there!!

Take care,


Hanlie said...

Yes you are! I'm also 38 and hoping that my journey to health will bring the children I so dearly desire...

barbra brusk said...

i love this post