Saturday, December 22, 2007

Frustrations!!!

Wow, has it really been over a week since I last blogged? I have had a really rough week. Rough, I tell ya. I know lots of you are in the same boat though, with the holidays and all. I was sick for several days, and then when I started eating again, it seemed like I was just famished. I wanted to inhale everything in my path! But I did not binge. I have not binged. But oh how I have over-eaten!

My wonderful, supportive (lately) husband did a little reverting to old habits, which hasn't helped me out at all. He brought home 2 boxes of glazed donuts. I am proud of myself because I didn't even touch one. And there are still a couple in the box, a week later! They are about to make an acquaintance with the trash can. Then, he started bringing home chips. UGH!!!! And regular sour cream, too. I had us all switched over to a reduced fat sour cream, and now he is buying the old full-fat stuff again. He does buy me some low fat kind as well, so I guess I shouldn't complain. But when he sits in the living room EVERY NIGHT eating a huge bowl of potato chips (CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH... plus I can smell them) and a huge bowl of onion dip that he made with that full fat sour cream... well, it's hard!!! But I have not had a single potato chip, nor has even a taste of dip crossed my lips. He says things like, "I have to get my eating under control" and "I have to lose weight" but he eats this stuff. When I say, "the donuts aren't helping you" he says, "Oh, donuts are not a problem. I can easily lose weight and eat donuts. I've done it before. I just have to get active." Grrrrr.

And so, the days go by. One day, the neighbor brings a large tin of fresh, homemade peppermint brownies. Oh man. I did have one of those. Just one. And then, I start getting food gifts in the mail. A box of Dale and Thomas chocolate popcorn (which I ate a lot of), and then yesterday some gourmet deep dish sausage pizzas someone sent us as a gift. OMG they were very good. We had it for dinner. I swear there is 5 pounds of cheese on one pizza. Bad news. I gained 4 lbs (*snap*) like that. I had salad with it, and I didn't have any soda, just water. But I gained. Then there has been the cookie making marathon. My kids and I made 6 kinds of cookies and two kinds of candies for Christmas. We put 80% of them on plates, and gave them out as gifts to friends and neighbors. But as I was making them, of course I had to taste them. A little of this, a bit of that, one of these, two of those. It adds up fast. Bad news, again.

And then there has been the eating out. On cookie marathon days I was exhausted and said I was not cooking. My husband brought home Arby's one night and Dairy Queen another night. Granted, again, I didn't have soda, or a milkshake or ice cream. But I did have a burger and fries. I did have an Arby's roast beef and fries. Bad... I can feel my arteries clogging up as we speak. And then one day we went out to a buffet for lunch and I admit I stuffed myself to the point of almost being sick. I haven't done that in a long time.

So with all this over-indulgence, I am majorly frustrated. I have not exercised. I have been stuck inside. I have not seen much in the way of a fruit or a vegetable in quite some time. We have the upcoming ham and potato Christmas dinner to look forward to as well. And the Hickory Farms box in the fridge... ugh!

A little joy in the midst of this frustration... I was out of clothes. Everything was in the dirty laundry. I was feeling fat and SO frustrated. All I had to wear were those dratted size 22's that are just a BIT too tight. I could wear them but they just weren't comfy. But what choice did I have? So I got them out. The jeans FIT! They fit without any muffin top hangover. They fit NICE. They looked GOOD. Then I got out that one top... the red one. It is short sleeved and hasn't fit me in years but was hanging in my closet. It has this body hugging fabric and cut to it. I put that on and OMG. I looked so darn good! I looked in the mirror and could not believe my eyes! I have a waist! I looked curvy and hot! I thought, hmmm, wow. I walked out into the living room and my husband looked at me, and his eyes darted to my waist, and to my boobs, LOL, and he said, "You look good!!" (This from a man who has not said ONE WORD about my looks or weight even though I lost 37 pounds!) Then my son came in and just sort of stared at me. He didn't say anything but his eyebrows went up. I know I looked good. The next day I put on a two piece outfit that I had bought a long time ago but never fit into..pants and a zippered jacket. My other son stared at me. "Is that new? You're getting smaller!" YES! Finally someone noticed! So, while I am up a couple of pounds, I am not losing sight of the big picture. I have a goal to meet and I am still on my way.

Merry Christmas everyone. Maybe this is just a speed bump or a little detour, but we will get to our destination if we never give up!

8 comments:

Lauren said...

yes, we can do it

MB said...

I'm so glad hubby finally noticted and said something! Don't beat yourself up over the holidays, enjoy them and try to make better decisions each day. Merry Christmas!

Anonymous said...

I know how hard it is to maintain any weight loss. I lost 80 pounds, but have put back 27 in the last year and a half. I'm determined to get to my goal though, which is now even further away.

I hope that you really do get your old habits under control. There is nothing more disheartening than having to re-lose the same pounds over and over.

Congrats on the recognition. I had the same reaction from some people, where others didn't even recognize me after weight loss.

Best wishes, Merry Christmas, stay strong!!

R.E. said...

Congratulations on not eating those donuts! Keep up the good work. Merry Christmas and stay on the healthy path. :)

lasserday said...

just wanted to let you know you aren't the only one with speedbumps! yikes! good thing the holidays are almost over. keep on truckin'

FatGirl said...

Just a speed bump, and we can do it.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who's feeling this way. I'm doing really good not gorging on all the food, but I'd feel better if I weren't eating any of the xmas food that's bad for you.

FatGirl said...

Oh also, wanted to add- I read in an old-ish issue of Prevention that sometimes a small break from the "diet" world is good for helping you stay on track. So that's what you can look at this as.. your little break. Then right back on track.

Heather said...

wow I am so happy for you that you looked great and it was recognized. You are right...those few pounds you may have gained didnt stop you from feeling amazing and no one noticed them (except you). I give you so much credit for saying no to a lot of things that were hard to resist. And its ok for those that you did not...we all make mistakes, especially this time of the year. And I know you are dedicated enough to get right back on track.