Saturday, December 1, 2007

December 1, 2007: 248 pounds

I enter the new month with a slight gain from my low weight of 246. I admit it: the holidays are hard on me. I think Thanksgiving alone would have been easy to handle. But having the flu for 4 days just did me in. I DID get right back on plan, and then right back off, and right back on again. I got up to 250 (a 4 lbs gain) but then lost 2 of that. So my loss for November: 5 pounds. Not bad, not great. I am hoping I can lose AT LEAST five more pounds in December.

And just how will I cope with the Christmas season? I have five kids. There is no way I am going to completely avoid sweets in the house. Not only will my kids bring them home from school in the form of candy and gingerbread houses, but their friends will send over plates of goodies as a gesture of goodwill. My table will be graced by sugar cookies frosted by neighbors and fudge from kids' playmates. Naturally I will try and "let" the kids eat most of it and toss some in the trash (they will just think I ate it). But I know I cannot deprive myself completely. I will eyeball those gifts and ONLY have a sample of something I truly love. In the past, I would give the kids each one treat off the plate, and then when they went to bed, I would INHALE everything else!! I don't even LIKE sugar cookies unless they are buttery, thick and made by ME. But I would eat them all, and the candies, and all the cookies that were drab and bland, TRYING with each bite to find the flavor and yumminess I was dreaming about. But dreaming doesn't make it so, and all I ended up with was a belly full of mediocre cookies and a feeling of disappointment.

I will do some baking, myself, as well. Every year since the kids were little, we have made a variety of cookies and goodies for Christmas. Chocolate crinkles, molasses cookies, gingerbread men, sugar cookies with thick frosting, chewy chocolate chip cookies, brownies, and peanut butter thumbprints. And we always make fudge, too: milk chocolate, dark chocolate, some with nuts and some without. Peanut butter fudge, white fudge, and mint chocolate fudge. You think that's enough? Remember, that 278 pound belly did not appear from being moderate in my eating. I also made chocolate dipped pretzel rods, biscotti, chocolate dipped Oreos, and peanut-butter-filled, chocolate-dipped Ritz crackers. Oh and don't forget the english toffee. And who do you think ATE all that stuff?? Well, back when I was thin, the kids and I used to take plates around to all the neighbors and friends. Sure, we ate some, but 90% of the goodies went out as gifts in tins and on bow-adorned plates. Everyone raved. People called and thanked me profusely. I am a darn good cook. I remember people ohh-ing and ahh-ing the year I included white chocolate chip cranberry nut cookies. Ahhh, yes. Those were the days. Then I started getting bigger and bigger, and eating more and more of the goodies myself. As a matter of fact, in the past five years, I can count how many tins and plates of goodies we gave away on one hand. Suddenly, 90% of the goodies were being consumed right here. Most of it, I am sorry to say, by me.

This year will be different. I am already making my list of people I will be sharing the yummy stuff with. I love to bake and don't want to break the tradition of baking with my kids. So we will go back to giving away most of it (although I have a feeling my teenagers, who are NOT heavy at all, will inhale a good portion themselves).

I have two goals this month. One, to reach 244 by mid-December. As I said in my last post, I was 245 when I was married nine years ago in December. It would be sweet to reach this goal by then. My second goal is to be 242 or less by January 1st. I had wanted to be 239 but I think that would be a real stretch, considering the Christmas season. So 242 it is... 6 pounds for the month. And then in January I can start chiseling away at those stubborn pounds that have been solidly hanging on my body for nearly TEN YEARS.

Make it a good season. Don't just give yourself a free pass for December and say, "I will start on January first." Every day counts, and you have a choice. Be heavier in a month, or lighter. Even a maintain is an honorable goal. But not a free pass to eat anything you want and gain. Start today. We can do this.


Anonymous said...

Lyn, All your posts are very inspiring.
Giving away goodies is a good idea. My sister loves to bake and she gives away most of it as gifts to family and friends.
I hope we all reach our goals this month and next year.

Anonymous said...

glad to have you back! i was starting to worry that you had dropped out of the game! i'm with you this season, i am gonna make some of my grandmother's cookies but i am NOT going to eat them all myself! :)

Chubby Chick said...

I absolutely love the honesty in your posts! You don't sugar-coat anything... except your cookies! hehe

I love to bake, too... so I know where you're coming from. I bet at least 20 pounds of the weight that I put on this year came from homemade brownies alone! Planning to give most of your goodies away is a great strategy... and is just darn generous and nice, too!

I, too, have gorged on other people's cookies even when they weren't that tasty. Why in the world did we do stuff like that???

Congrats on having a LOSS in November. I have been totally off track... and I am afraid to even step on the scale. I have GOT to get back on track SOON. It really is harder during the holidays. But you have done very well so far... and I'm sure you'll do well through the rest of December. :)

Queen B said...

I've got four kids... I hear ya! My doctor said "Have a good holiday, and try not to gain weight." Well... the object is to LOSE right? *sigh*

Melanie said...

Once again I love your post! You are so real and your words speak to me. Thank you for sharing. Good luck reaching your goals this month. I have no doubt that you can do it. You've inspired me to give it another try - starting today.

Cynthia in NW Arkansas said...

I just read your Nov 18 post entitled "MEN" and I am crying as I sit here on my bed with my laptop on pillows stacked on my fat belly.
I am experiencing that post currently.
I am saddened by how men treat me.
Even though I've lost 38 pounds in the past 4 months....I am still FAT and their reactions are still the same now.
I have a college degree, a professional job, bought my own home this past summer....but I still feel like a complete failure....because I am fat and not attractive to men.
WHY do I need their approval????
It is so stupid.
Sometimes, pretty often actually....I feel so worthless ...and feel I don't deserve anything in life...all because I am fat...because my fat projects to people that I am out of control, lazy, and unintelligent.
Anyway, thank you for that post on least I know I am not the only woman in the world who feels this.

Cynthia in NW Arkansas said...

Okay, now I've read your Aug 8 and Aug 9 posts....and I swear that I could have written them!!!!!
OMG, that is ME.
You described it perfectly.
The binges.
No holes barred.
The truth is there and it is me.
I've eaten whole, large pizzas...whole can of those biscuits (but I would cut them open, fill them with butter and sugar, then eat them)...eaten whole bags of flour tortillas...etc, etc.
Thank you for being so honest in your blog.

Lyn said...

{{{{{Cynthia}}}}}} I am so glad you found my blog, too. We are in this TOGETHER. You are not alone. Thousands of women are suffering the same way as we have, and it is so unfair. I hope you will still around and stay in touch because "blogland" is a wonderful place to make friends, and give and get support. We can change our lives... not to please other people or to catch a man or look hot in a bathing suit... but because we are worth it and we need to show ourselves love and compassion. You are worth loving. Remember that.

Heather said...

I think your goals are very realistic and I really hope that you accomplish everything that you want.

All the cookies sound delicious! But I think its important to make all those other people happy when you bring them cookies vs eating them yourself. Sure they taste good at the time you are eating them, but to me, its just not worth the gain on the scale.

Karen (aka Deadbudgee) said...

Lyn, as usual I am amazed and inspired reading your wise words!!! Yes, we do have a choice. We don't HAVE to be 15 pounds heavier Jan 1!!! Tnanks for a great reminder!!!

Teale said...

I love to bake, and I just can't imagine Christmas w/o my kitchen smelling of sweets... so, I picked up a WW dessert cookbook, and I will be baking WW sweets this holiday!

Linda said...

Just found your blog, i know this was like 3 years ago, but im starting at the beginning to read it all lol. am trying to lose weight myself and so far the most motivational inspiring thing that has helped me keep at it is reading peoples blogs, like yours. and hearing your success stories.
I was like everyone else, diet for a week and when theres no results just give up. or i platuo somewhere and just give up coz it seems pointless. but seeing all ur results will keep me motivated! cant wait til i get to the first page lol. i must admit i caught a glimspe of the recent photo on the first page and u look SO GOOD. im sure i will comment again soon. back to reading! :)