Monday, November 5, 2007

Triumph

Isn't it amazing the way our emotions can swing all over the place based on what the scale says? You know you've done it. You get up feeling thin. You put on a cute, sexy-looking outfit. You are all smiles and feel almost petite because you have lost some weight. The world is sunshine and puppies. Then you step on the scale, see that you have GAINED a pound, and suddenly you feel fat, ugly, frumpy. You rip off the "cute" outfit because now you feel like a moose in it. You pull the drapes on the sunshine and kick the imaginary puppies out the door, and the world suddenly becomes all darkness and slugs. You might even go binge, whereas if the scale had told you that you had LOST a pound, you would have happily enjoyed a salad.

Why do we let a hunk of metal on the floor dictate our emotions?? Why do we let a number DEFINE us? You are more than a number. Next time you are about to step on the scale, look in the mirror. See what you are. See reality. Pay attention to how you look: what parts of you are beautiful that you like (hair, eyes, waist) and what parts are improving (hips, triple chins). Notice the parts you want to work on... but don't hate them. Open your mouth and say, "I love you." Yeah, I am serious. Look in the mirror and say it out loud to yourself. The emotions that come may surprise you. YOU HAVE TO LOVE YOURSELF. Your self needs to be loved. Self hatred and loathing is self destruction, and this process is all about loving one's self. So tell yourself "I love you." Take it in. Look in your eyes. Hear it. And accept who you are. Then, if you still want to step on the scale, go ahead, but don't let the number define you. It is okay to feel joyful when you lose, and disappointed when you don't, but do not let the disappointment linger. Let it go, love yourself, and find the joy again. And absolutely do not let your feelings or the scale tell you what you are going to eat for the day.

I have not lost a pound since October 22. That is two weeks of seeing, 252, 252, 253, 254, 253, 252, 253, 252. A Halloween went by with NO candy eaten and no "treats." I was eating right, for the most part. So not seeing a drop for TWO WEEKS got frustrating. But this time is different. When the number doesn't change, I can feel sad, but I just take a breath and move on. I eat the same healthy foods whether I lose, gain, or maintain. Maybe tomorrow will be the day. I will just keep eating right and loving myself. And this morning, I hopped on that scale hoping for a 251 but knowing it would be 252 again... and I saw 250!! Yes, 250. I hissed "YESSSSSS!!!!!!" and jumped off that scale feeling all skinny and great. And I am hanging on to that feeling for the next time I plateau for weeks.

My mother shared a poem with me when I was a child:

Two men looked out from prison bars.
One saw mud; the other saw stars.

Take the time to see the stars in your life. Look upward, raise your head high, and love yourself. Embrace the joy, and remember, you are so much more than a number!

12 comments:

Leigh said...

this is sooo true, and something I struggle with so much! I am way too down on myself (I just blogged about it this morning!) I can never stick out a slow or no loss time without getting ticked off and throwing my resolves out the window. Thanks for encouraging me to keep going...

and congrats for the loss!!!

Leslie said...

what a wonderful post... and I totally agree. I struggle with the *loving myself as I am* thing everyday. I am so darn hard on myself and would NEVER dream of treating anyone else the way I treat myself. I try to see and acknowledge all the things that other people love about me. I have a lot of people who do love me, and I know I'm a lovable person and deserving of the best, including having the healthiest body possible.

Thanks for reminding me of this today!

honib1 said...

YAY!!!! that is fabulous.. congrats on the weight loss.. its just like I always say.. we are so much more than just the sum of our pounds!!! congrats again!!!

MB said...

I hate when the scale has the power to determine my mood for the day. I look forward to the day when it doesn't matter what the scale says. Congrats on the loss!

Dominique said...

*pompom*

Awesoooooooooome!

~ CurvyJones

Heather said...

I love this post because for a long time, I let the scale control my emotions. if it was down, boy I was so happy and if it was up, then you needed to stay away from me!

i think its great that after a month of a "plateau" the scale budged for you.

This post was amazing!

Lauren said...

Yay, great message. I'm working on this right now myself. And congrats on the loss.

lbs said...

so cool! I am having a plateau of my own..it's so hard!!

hanlie said...

Yup, I do the mirror work every day! Telling yourself that you love yourself and approve of yourself while looking in the mirror is a powerful exercise. Only then did I realize that I have always been looking for blemishes whenever I looked in the mirror.

You will not believe my weight fluctuations day on day. Some days up to 4 pounds difference. I now use Google 15 (a google application that works out a moving average over a period of 15 days). It's more realistic than my wayward weight.

Great post, and congratulations on 250!

Teale said...

This is something I think we ALL need to hear at some point. I had a gain last week, and because of that I fear that today at my WI, I might have another gain. Not that I've been eating badly, I just worry for no reason. So, regardless of what the hunk of metal says, I will know that I am loving the woman I'm becoming, whether that woman weighs less or not.

alexis said...

i am plateuing myself now, have been for more than a few weeks. it is quite depressing but ure absolutely right. great post! i really like your mom's poem. thanks for sharing it

Princess Dieter said...

I was entering my numbers into a spreadsheet, and I realized that this is my pattern.

I lose some, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold (and by hold I mean fluctuating the normal 2 lbs up and down sort of thing).

Then I drop, and start holding at a lower number.

I actually SAW it when it was on a spreadsheet. This is my pattern. In the past, it made me give up. Just stop going to WW or stop writing in my food journal.

Now, I'm just saying, "Oooh, can't wait until I'm in the under 270 holding pattern."

Ultimately, as long as the trajetory is down, not up, it's a win.

I hope this month treats you extra nice, scalewise. Let's look at the stars, meanwhile.

The Princess