Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Cycles

I am REALLY starting to see the cycles I go through every month with my weight. I never saw them before, because as soon as I would plateau for more than 3 or 4 days, I would give up and eat my way back up to hugeness! I never stuck it out long enough to actually SEE the cycles. I have to admit, it is rough, but knowing it is my cycle does make it easier to get through.

It seems like every month, right after/during TOM, I lose some pounds. It just drops off, day after day. And then it stops. Then I sit at the same weight for days... a week... or more. It gets so discouraging! Then, after mid month, I drop another 3, 4, or 5 pounds just like that! And a few days later, I plateau again for several days. This is the kind of thing that can make you crazy if you let it! In the past, I let the scale dictate my mood for the day. "Oh, I lost a pound, I feel skinny! I am so happy! Life is great" or else, "Oh my gosh! I gained a pound! I am so fat and feel like a slug! I am tired and I hate everything." And then I would eat accordingly. It was a really vicious cycle that I am glad to be out of. Now, while I do feel a twinge of disappointment when the scale does not go down, I just keep on eating like a healthy person. After all, how else is this going to happen?

And so, I sit at 254 for 5 days straight. And on the 6th day (today), i am up almost a full pound to 255. WTH!! Okay, yeah, I am not innocent. I did have a few slices of pizza this week. But otherwise I ate right, stayed in my normal calorie range, and even rode my exercise bike most days! So why am I gaining instead of losing?

The answer: I don't care. I know I am doing fine with my eating. I know where I could improve (increase produce, reduce carbs). I am doing just fine, not overeating or binging. So scale, you can stick that number where the sun don't shine, because I AM NOT A NUMBER. I am a healthy, intelligent, happy woman with a full life. I am much lighter than I was 2 months ago. Maybe tomorrow, I will weigh 254 again... or not... but someday I will. And someday soon, most likely before the end of the month, I will hit 253. And I will keep going lower. Sometimes we just get too hung up on WHY the scale says what it does. I really don't care. I am just going to eat right, drink water, and exercise. This is my life now. I am never going back to craziness and morbid obesity. Cheers!

12 comments:

a.m. said...

I am such a slave to the scale. I got mad at it this morning and actually threw mine out. In the trash which was picked up today. Now I can still weigh at the gym, but at the most that will be 5 times a week, not 387374 times.

Heather said...

I have a very similar cycle as well. I drop the pounds after TOM and then plateau and possible gain before/during TOM. Isnt it fun to be women?! But seriously, its natural, its how our bodies work, and we just have to realize this cycle and work with it.

I think you are doing a fabulous job and am so happy to see your successes. You are right, you are not a number at all, because I dont think that number even begins to cover all the accomplishments that you have done.

Lauren said...

we are the champions, my friends. You are awesome. I am weighing and writing every day about how I'm feeling to see my own cycles because I have no idea what my body likes to do.

linda said...

I like your style. Your optimistic attitude surprises me. it's really nothing about being overweight. I've seen too many overweight people convince themselves that they're unattractive or abnormal. I think that's a shame because it undermines their self-esteem. The effect of this is a lack of self-confidence, self pity and depression. There are still many people like big people. “Big women have got more sex appeal better personalities and drive men like me wild. My girlfriend is size 26 and I can’t keep my hands of her.” I quoted from largefriends.com. Just think the other way!

alexis said...

great post. i love ur healthy perspective!

p.s: abt the cycle thing, i read somewhere that 1 pound of fat is equal to about 3500 calories, so i guess it makes perfect sense that we plateau at the same weight for some time, before those little bits we work off finally registers on the scale.

oh and when I gain a pound i tell myself that part of it is muscle mass becos i work out now. hehe.

Teale said...

Such a fantastic attitude. I've just recently developed this triumph over the scale as well. Why should some stupid number dictate my mood? If I did a handful of good things, and the scale goes up... I need to celebrate those non-scale victories and still be pleased with the way I'm changing my life!

Dee said...

What a fantastic attitude you have ! You're doing such a good job and you are learning how your body functions. I'm just in the process of learning to live with the scale and to not let it dictate my state of mind. It's important to remain focused on what's important.
Well done! Great post.

Laura said...

I do the same thing. When the scale goes down, I am so excited and think I finally got it figured out. When the scale goes up or stays the same, I feel like a miserable failure. Thank you for your attitude about going on no matter what- that's what I need to hear and that's what I need to do.

honib1 said...

can i make a teeeny tiny suggestion.. only weigh once a week.. or once a month even.. yeah i know the last one is hard.. I just love your attitude and I want it to stay so rockin positive as it is now.. You are doing fabulous, you have made some great changes.. and you my friend will win..

Chubby Chick said...

Good for you! I love your positive attitude! :)

Once Upon A Dieter said...

I've always been aware of mine, which is why I tried to make specialist appointments to coincide AFTER my period, so the weigh-in would reflect that 4-6 pound difference.

It's annoying. Makes at least one, sometimes two weigh-ins a real dread. But, at least we know what it is, right? :)

Your progress is steady and terrific. You're going down, and down, and the small upticks from the hormonal stuff ain't gonna change that.

Ultimately, it's how the line averages out...and if you eat right and drink water, etc, then that will be inclining DOWN.

Still...irks. I know.
The Princess

MB said...

Cheers! What a great post.

It is hard to stay motivated when you don't get that positive reinforcement of lower numbers on the scale. It can't be all about the numbers. You will get there as long as you keep at it.

Bravo!