Sunday, September 23, 2007

Damages

Ah yes. The damages of being sick. I have some confessions to make.

This morning, to my horror, the scale said 263. At least, I *think* it said 263... when I saw the dial needle poking up above 260 I hauled butt off that scale so fast it would make your head spin. (That is probably the tremor you felt this morning... not my joyful leap of 259-dom). And, I felt worse today than I did yesterday. Three days of being sick, two days of eating like crap.

Friday I did okay. Saturday, not so much. I sat out in the wind for 2 hours at my son's ball game. Then I went and got french fries and a Chocolate Peanut Butter cup Blizzard. Granted... I got a SMALL fries and a SMALL Blizzard, but it did some damage nonetheless. I came home and had a bowl of baked pita chips and lowfat hummus. Hubby made lean, tenderloin steaks on the grill and I had about 4oz, with a few BAKED sweet potato fries and steamed broccoli. So I was shocked that I gained like that.

Today I woke up sicker than ever. I fumbled through my day, eating in a fog. This was the worst eating day I have had since I began this blog. It started ok and just got worse. A piece of toast... a Coke... some macaroni and cheese... some MORE macaroni and cheese... a third helping of macaroni and cheese.. another Coke... some cooked apple pie filling... a hamburger roll with turkey and ham and lite mayo... a small spoonful of potato salad... and then, I made brownies. You know I am *losing it* when I make brownies. I get into this trance, creaming the butter and sugar and cocoa... I go into oblivion somewhere as I scoop 3/4 of the batter into the pan and then EAT the rest of the batter, licking the spoon, the bowl, my fingers. And then the brownies themselves. They were mediocre (new recipe), but I ate about 4 of them anyway, maybe 5. Out of a 9 by 13 pan, that's pretty tame compared to past forays (usually I have eaten AT LEAST half the pan in one sitting), but still, it made me feel sick from eating it.

Finally I wound down and stopped. I got a grip and dumped some Coke down the sink. I drank some water, and decided that I would begin fresh tomorrow. I brushed my teeth and said, "Self, that is enough." And it was. My throat is not as sore as it was this morning, and the headache is fading. I probably killed all the germs with all the junk I ate. So I think I will feel well enough tomorrow for a nice walk around the block and lots of water and sun tea. I need to flush out all that sodium... especially since Alka Seltzer Cold has almost 500mg Per Dose!!!!

Wish me luck... I have pounds to re-lose!

6 comments:

Chubby Chick said...

Hey, girl. Don't beat yourself up. We ALL fall off the wagon from time to time. I pigged out BIG TIME last Thursday. If I had had brownies in the house at that time... I probably would have eaten the whole freaking pan of them. lol Instead... I inhaled almost an entire pizza.

It's always harder to stay on plan when you're sick, so give yourself some slack. When you are well and feeling better physically... you will feel better mentally and will be able to get back on track. And you'll feel good enough to exercise and prepare the proper foods.

The "damage" is only temporary... so don't feel bad. You are doing a GREAT job so far... and you will continue to do so! And we're all here for you when you need us. :)

Just take care of yourself. I hope you feel better soon!

Lauren said...

You can do it, everyone has bad days. Whoot whoot.

Twix said...

:( Sorry you have been so sick! I hope you start to feel better today. Brownie batter, mmmmm. Must stop reading...temtations,lol..

hanlie said...

That's the spirit! Don't be too hard on yourself. Weight loss only really becomes do-able when we learn to be loving and gentle to our bodies, and patient with ourselves... So no beating yourself up over your excesses! You've just identified some new triggers, and now you can plan for the next time you're sick, so that you don't react the same way. Valuable lesson!
Blessings!

Teale said...

I also saw a high number on the scale after my birthday... it was frustrating, but we'll see how the WI goes tomorrow... gotta keep on keepin' on!

Lady T said...

ahhh....well, you were sick. and these things ahppen. and you're probably holding water like a camel. that is what i am convinced of. i ate a lot of sodium this past weekend...with very little water. and my body has soaked it up like a sponge. i have finally gotten back into gear this morning...and ive vowed not to step on the scale this week....bc when i go up..even when my rational mind knows its GOT to be water, its very discouraging.