Sunday, August 26, 2007

Quest for Normalcy

I was in the doctor's office the other day for allergy testing. As I looked around the room at the other people (as I always do), I saw that no one else in the waiting room was fat. I hate it when that happens. I mean, when I go to the fair, or McDonald's, there's no problem. More than half of the people there with me are also fat, so I don't feel so different. But in the waiting room, there were several men, a few children, and a dozen or so women... all "normal" sized. None of them looked like they had a hard time fitting into the chairs. None of them struggled to get up when the nurse called their name. None of them looked, as Bear Grylls of "Man Vs. Wild" so graciously put it, "as if they ate too many cheesecakes." Except me.

Why do I have to be jealous of simply "normal" people? I know, everyone has their problems, but doesn't it strike anyone as odd, or sad, that I have to work so hard and focus my life and spend so much time working hard JUST to be "normal"?? Of course, I am just talking about size here. But I look at that slim lady with her legs crossed, reading a magazine with 2 inches to spare on each side of her in the chair, wearing a size 10 dress, and I am insanely jealous. She doesn't look muscular, or athletic, or like she works out at all! And then she takes out a Reese's Peanut Butter cup out of her purse and mindlessly pops it in her mouth, without a care in the world. Not fair!!!!!! Not fair at all.

So, it seems like I am accomplishing this monumental task: to lose over 100 pounds! Get in shape! Fit in size 10, 12 or 14 pants! Be able to walk up my stairs without huffing and puffing! Yes, such a great accomplishment, and in the end I will just be normal. At least I hope so.


The Lassie said...

I know what you mean. I feel the same way a lot of the time, to be honest. These days I am trying to see things in a different light, though. Everyone has their own problems to deal with - I am sure that lady with the Reese's is no exception. It sucks and is really unfortunate that people like us seem to have too good a metabolism to stay thin. ;) I have to admit, it is this envy that aids me in my efforts, though. I see a movie with slim people in it - I am envious of their clothing. I see a normal-sized person in every day life and I am envious of their supposed carefree life. Whether these people are always happy is another question. In any case, it's often these thoughts that make me stay on track.h

Twix said...

I hear ya!!! But! We will never be normal. Because! We have been here, done that, and are now over there. We will be compassionate where others can't or won't. We will be supportive and loving to those that are struggling. Unlike those that simply will never understand. We will always know what is was like and we always know how to respond. Unlike the normal masses! We will be uniquely different.

Diana the Scale Junkie said...

I understand. I don't want to be skinny, I just want to be normal.

We make the best of what we have and find our way to our own normal.

Hold on to the doctors office envy and use fitting better in that chair for motivation!!

Its a journey and we will get there in time if we keep moving forward.

Christina said...

Knowing this post is old - I sure hope your outlook has changed by now. The same woman who was popping a reeces in her mouth may have gotten diagnosed with cancer that same day. I mean you were in a doctor's office. Chances are she wasn't there for a routine physical. The important thing is all that you have done and are doing to improve YOUR health. And you've done an awesome job!@