Friday, February 15, 2019


This week we have had lots of snow! The good: forced rest, lots of coffee, staying home enjoying family and getting things done here. The not so good: no walking, missing doctor's appointments, and loads of comfort cooking and baking. I tend to make lots of homemade soups... some healthy and full of veggies and protein, others creamy or carby... and homemade bread or rolls to go with it. It's good stuff! We also had a birthday with cake, and Valentine's Day with cupcakes and cookies. I used up a large bag of apples from fall to make a big pan of apple crisp, too. I crave baked potatoes and mac and cheese when I am cold, but I do add things like broccoli and steak to a small potato or put butternut squash in my mac and cheese to up the nutritional content. But the net result is no weight loss, still.

We are going out of town on vacation in a couple weeks to someplace warm and sunny! I expect that to be a very healthy break with plenty of activity and a switch to more summertime foods. I am going to maintain or lose a few between now and then, and expect to come home even lighter and with a renewed drive to eat healthy and be active. I'm almost completely healed from my car accident now and have very few restrictions left so am building back my strength with exercises and doing more at home.

I can't wait for spring! The snow is pretty but I am ready to move on and go forward.

Sunday, February 10, 2019

Not Losing

I am not losing any weight so far this month. In fact, I'm still gaining. Ten days into the month and I am up 3 pounds. Intermittent fasting went out the window, phentermine stayed in the bottle, and I stayed in the house while the snow has been falling. I've been eating lots of carby comfort foods... a winter habit of mine from long ago. "It's time" from my last post turned into "not really" and weight loss just has not been the priority. I'll give it another start tomorrow and see if I can't stay motivated enough to make it stick this time. I'm not worried... I have kept off a huge amount of weight and this bit of regain will come back off as I work at it from now through spring.

Happiness does not have to wait until you are under a certain number. Yes, it's easier to be happy when you feel well and can do the things you want to do. But trust me on this one... happiness *does not* hinge on being a certain size or weight. It's a state of mind, and as long as you are loving yourself and accepting your body and doing the best you can under your circumstances for your health, you CAN claim happiness as yours! So smile... whether you're having a candy bar or a salad tonight. Do work on your health, don't let your body turn painful or too heavy for you to enjoy life, but be happy while you work it. Not just in the end.

Monday, February 4, 2019

Week 1, Change

On February 1, I weighed 194 pounds. That's a gain of 7 pounds for January. The next morning, I woke up and thought, "it's time."

The first thing I changed was to get back to my sort-of "intermittent fasting," where I have a short eating window and a long period of time where I eat nothing (unless you count coffee... with half and half or sugar free creamer, which is why I don't really claim to be doing official IF). My goals this week are to not eat until noon or later and to stop eating by 8pm. That is an 8 hour eating window and leaves 16 hours of fasting. I was pretty much doing this when I was losing weight on phentermine, so I decided to get that good habit back in my life. It hasn't been too hard; I get up, have some coffee with creamer, drink a lot of water, have another coffee mid-morning and then I can have lunch around 12 or later. It's fairly easy to keep this habit so I have just been doing that. The only other change I've made is to back off the sugar a little.

Today I had my coffees, then for lunch a McDonald's cheeseburger, fries and Coke (kid's meal). Dinner was a bowl of broccoli cheese soup with 4 Ritz crackers. Dessert at 7pm was sugar free chocolate mousse. I've started posting on my Instagram again. This morning I weighed 192 pounds.

Next week I will focus on improving my nutrition. For now, this is my start.

Tuesday, January 29, 2019

Wow, That Happened Fast

I was hoping that by February 1, I would be able to reverse the scale and see the regained pounds drop back off with going back to lower carb eating on an intermittent fasting type daily schedule plus exercise. Instead, the scale has kept moving upward, ticking pound after pound onto my body. I'm not liking that but apparently not unhappy enough about it to work harder on weight loss. If I seem ambivalent, I am. The only thing that makes me stop and think and feel a little anxiety about my weight is getting closer and closer to 200 pounds. I worked so hard to get this weight off and I know from past experience that it can easily come right back, one tiny bit at a time, almost unnoticed... especially if I avoid the scale and get in the "maybe tomorrow" mindset. Plus there's the clothing issue.

The phentermine isn't making any difference, so far. The skipping breakfast most days isn't, either, but I am eating much larger portions for lunch and dinner now, including sweets and starchy breads and potatoes. I have the knowledge to fix this but not the drive. Aside from the accident recovery which is still taking place and the new limits on what I can wear, I'm happy. I wake up smiling and go to bed content. I sleep well. My days are busy in the most fulfilling way. I do spend more time eating socially now, but I have not kept my small portions/lower carb limits in place for those occasions. And exercise still hurts, so I avoid it.

Today the scale says 194 pounds. I am up 19 pounds from my low in the fall. I am just going to have to jump in and do this regardless of my feelings about it. I will be more motivated to keep going once I see some results. I forgot all about my line in the sand and it's time to pay attention again.

Saturday, January 12, 2019


It's almost halfway through the month already. I thought I should give a progress report.

I kind of expected that by now I would be biking a lot more and well on my way to taking off the 9 pounds I regained after the accident, but no. I am not biking (pain came back, had to take a break again, and have been using a different machine at PT) and I weigh 188 pounds, up one pound from January 1. I am going to try the bike again today or tomorrow.

I did go to see my endocrinologist this week. I was up 7 pounds on their scale since my last visit in September. I got a new script for phentermine and have 3 months to drop at least 10 pounds by my next visit, or that's the end of phentermine for me. I also had blood work done and my TSH level was almost nonexistent... 0.021. I find that pretty weird considering it was 7.9 a year and a half ago and has usually been around 2 over the years. They cut my Synthroid dose in half and might take me off it completely at my next visit.

Maybe I do need the phentermine to keep losing right now. I know I am pretty good at maintaining in the 180's even without the drug, so I am hopeful that when I reach a lower weight I will learn how to maintain there without it as well, especially if I am more active.

I have not been super motivated to lose more weight. I just need to get myself in that mindset (excited about losing) because right now, I am pretty content where I am. But I do know ten or twenty pounds off would feel a lot better and be better for my joints. So let's see if I can get a few pounds off before the end of the month!